‘The company will crumble if I quit’: Boss guilts overwhelmed startup employee after meeting about burnout, employee has no choice but to leave

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    "Explained to boss that I'm burned out and thet told me that the company will crumble if I quit"
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    Apologies in advance for the long rant. This is my first actual adult job out of school and I just have to put all this somewhere. TL;DR at the end.
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    I started working for a startup about a year and a half ago after leaving grad school. It was my first actual job so I went into it with optimism since I was getting paid more than the sad stipend I had for 5 years
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    and I had the hope that it would be different and I'd be less stressed. Turns out the second one wasn't true at all.
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    This job wasn't 100% lined up with my field I specialized in, but it was adjacent so I thought I could use it as a stepping stone. For the first few months it was ok; I had to learn a bunch of new things
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    and figure out how adult jobs and industry actually works instead of pleasing academic advisors and chasing down professors.
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    Everyone there on my level (next most senior to the c- suite) came from academia so we were all figuring it out together. The guy that was supposed to train me
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    and bring me up to speed was not the best teacher and didn't leave a lot of explanation for why he did things or how. Then 7 months in to my time there he quit. I suddenly absorbed all of his work
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    (running a project I had zero background in + prep of materials for other coworkers projects) in addition to my own projects. I also inherited the two people he was supposed to train to function as a prep team that
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    just left undergrad and had no industry experience either. No instructions, no standard operating procedures, no notes left behind at all.
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    My coworkers and I had several meetings with our boss concerning hiring his replacement and dispersing the workload. After months they did get someone to take his main project, but I still handled all of his other
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    tasks. In addition, I now managed a small team (but can't be a manager since I've never had corporate management training),
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    wrote both internal and external literature for the company, managed their entire production of materials for other coworkers projects,
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    maintained collaborators and kept them moving, and kept my own work still on track. We also have no IT department and being somewhat tech savvy I am now the go to person for the whole building. I've spoken to them several times about compensation and been redirected each and every time.
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    It got to the point where I told my boss in our weekly one on ones that, while managing still, I was incredibly burned out and stressed. I listed all of the things I was now doing
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    compared to my initial 3 bullet job description and how I either wanted to discuss compensation and/or redistribution of tasks. I was then told by my boss that the "company would crumble" if I left. I am an overthinker and people pleaser by default.
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    The amount of stress and pressure that put on me was nerve wracking. Even my boss's boss said things along the same line when he asked how I was doing before then asking "What do you want to do when you grow up?"
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    I was too stunned to answer that question at the moment but I've been thinking about it since late last year. I think I know for sure I don't want to grow up to work for a start up. I
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    don't want my boss's or my boss's boss's job. I want nothing to do with the c- suite. I can't take the pressure, the workload, the stress. My husband even told me that he's worried that this is worse than grad school. My OCD has flared up to an alarming rate from the stress increase and every weekday is dreaded.
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    I'm desperately searching for a new position that will get me out of there, but as we all know the market is a bit right now.
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    If you made it this far thanks for reading my long Irant. I know leaving is the right option once I have another job lined up, but as a stupid people pleaser, how do you avoid the guilt of leaving those you know are about to get wrecked behind?
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    TL;DR: I took the first job I could get out of grad school and it was a start up. The workload is absolutely insane and I learned I'm not built for start up life. I am actively looking for other work but my boss told me that the company will crumble without me. How do you deal with the guilt of wrecking coworkers' workloads when you leave?
  • 23
    Funny_Maintenance9 73 If the company will crumble without you, then two things: 1 - you are worth more to them than they are to you. Ask for more money 2 - they're not managing the business very well
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    In the job world, you need to look after number one, you. A company will you over all day long if it benefits them, don't be ashamed of doing the same to them.

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